STORY TO BE REMEMBERED | MERI NAMBIS

Mama in the misty blue mountains faraway from the coast. Photo: Author in WhatsApp

𝑩𝒚: 𝑹𝒆𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒂 𝑲𝒖𝒌𝒖| (edited only for good English) 

MOTHER'S LOVE - This is the sad story of Meri Nambis being married into highlands of Papua New Guinea, and although humiliated by her husband and his family, she bore the pain and raised her kids alone when her husband remarry wives. She sent her kids to school alone and at last she passes on up in the misty mountains of Mt. Giluwe.

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Mother's unwavering love

In the misty mountains of Papua New Guinea, far from the coast, lived Meri Nambis, a woman who endured hardship with unwavering love for her children. This is her story.

A stolen life

From a young age, I remember whispers of "meri nambis" following my mother. Unlike the other women in our village, she was strikingly different. Tall and slender, with hair cascading down her back, she seemed a delicate bird amongst sturdy crows. It wasn't until I was in Grade 5 that I understood why. My father, captivated by her beauty, had taken her from her home in faraway Port Moresby when she was still a girl.

A life of sacrifice

Despite my father's growing business, money seemed scarce in our simple kunai house. Mother, ever resourceful, tended her kaukau gardens, selling the produce to buy food and school supplies for us, her five children. As the years passed, Father's business flourished, but so did his distance. He married again, a woman from a well-connected family, and soon after, a new house materialized for them.

Strength in the face of adversity

As Father's wealth and status grew, cracks began to show in our family. His polygamy brought feasts and prestige, but also accusations and scorn directed towards Mother, who lacked the traditional support network. She bore it with quiet dignity, her unwavering love for us a constant source of strength. The abuse escalated, with Father withdrawing further and accusations turning into violence. Yet, Mother persevered. She worked tirelessly, taking on various jobs to ensure our well-being. Every night, she'd paint pictures of her childhood home – a place with a dark blue sea and white sandy beaches – a constant reminder of a better life and her dream of returning home someday.

Education, the path to a better life

As my sisters grew older, they were taken in by our uncles. This left just Mother, me, my younger brother, and youngest sister. Despite the hardships, I was accepted into the prestigious University of Technology. My brother and I pooled our resources to pay my fees. The journey was grueling, but Mother's unwavering support kept me going.

A bittersweet success

Finally, graduation day arrived. A complex mix of emotions washed over me as I saw my father, beaming with pride alongside his latest wife. He treated us to a celebratory feast, a hollow gesture that couldn't erase the pain of his neglect. The next day, I was offered a job in Port Moresby. Father, ever self-centered, whisked me away without a thought for Mother, who had sacrificed everything for my success.

Years passed, filled with regular money transfers to support her and my brother. Every time I offered to buy her a plane ticket home, she'd say, "Wait, the girls haven't left the nest yet."

A silent battle

One day, a call from the priest shattered my world. Mother had collapsed, and time was running out. The years of isolation and hardship had taken their toll. Cancer had ravaged her body, a silent battle she had fought alone. Racing against time, I reached our village to find Mother frail and weak. Despite the pain etched on her face, a faint smile flickered on her lips.

A mother's final words

Tears streamed down my face as I asked, "Why didn't you come when I offered to buy you a ticket? Why didn't you go home and see your people?" Her voice, raspy but strong, filled the room. "When you were young," she said, "I did try to leave. I went as far as Goroka, but I couldn't get on the plane. I couldn't leave you behind." Though her heart ached for her home, she chose to stay for us.

A legacy of love

By the time the first rays of sun pierced the horizon, Mama, my beautiful Mama, took her last breath. We buried her in our village, surrounded by wildflowers. Every year, I visit her grave, bringing a bottle of sand from the coast, a token of the sea she longed to see. She left her dream of the ocean behind, choosing to raise us in the embrace of the mountains. I am who I am today because of a "meri nambis" who chose love over everything else.

Continuing the legacy

Today, inspired by my mother's story, Jeffrey and his wife have dedicated themselves to helping women like her. They have repatriated women trapped in violent marriages, bringing them back to their home provinces.  Jeff's family has also thrived.  His youngest sister is now a nurse, while his brother runs a successful business in Lae, employing over 200 Papua New Guineans. His two older sisters are happily married and raising families of their own, both residing in the village. Jeff's father passed away two years after his mother and is buried beside her in their village, nestled amongst the blue, misty mountains.

Word Translation 

1. MERI (Woman)
2. NAMBIS (Coastal/Coast)
3.HAUS-LAIN (Village)
4.KAUKAU (Potatoes)
5. KUNAI (Grass for Weeping roofs and  Walls)